• Reporter: How should we describe the thief?
  • Intern: She was the first Mexican to win-
  • Reporter: Mexican?! Fantastic, use it.
  • Reporter: How should we describe the felon?
  • Intern: Uh... well he was black-
  • Reporter: GREAT! Send it to the press!
  • Reporter: How should we describe this mass shooter?
  • Intern: ... White?
  • Reporter: No, no. Don't be racist. What else?
  • Intern: ...Straight A student-
  • Reporter: Perfect, find everything positive you could possibly find. Make them look like the innocent child who was ruined by society with a bad case of mental illness.


do you ever shave your legs but later you realise you missed a spot and its like


  • cis person: so what are you, like, biologically?
  • me: water, 35 liters. carbon, 20 kilograms. ammonia, 4 liters. lime, 1.5 kilograms. phosphorous, 800 grams. salt, 250 grams. saltpeter, 100 grams. sulfur, 80 grams. fluorine, 7.5 grams. iron, 5 grams. silicon, 3 grams, and trace amounts of 15 other elements.